


No Longer

by creambun



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Oneshot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-28
Updated: 2019-07-28
Packaged: 2020-07-23 15:57:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20010946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/creambun/pseuds/creambun
Summary: You'll never know what you have until its gone. Its a universal rule.





	No Longer

**Author's Note:**

> there's this heavy feeling in my chest that won't disappear. i'm sorry, there may be grammatical errors since english isn't my first language. i just wanna unload this feeling. and this is my first time posting here so..
> 
> n e ways, Jaehyun is the cutest, fluffiest peach bread with soothing baritone voice, I love him.

Sicheng hasn't been home for a week now and its worrying Jaehyun but he won't show it. He thought that maybe it was for the best, maybe they really needed space. They've been in a relationship for 3 years, they've gone through a lot of ups and downs. But these past few months the fights were piling up. Petty fights will turn into big arguments that none of them would remember the reason why once they both calm down. But Jaehyun knows its on him, and Sicheng was just kind enough not to blame him. On their worst fights, one of them would leave the apartment but it won't last for a day. They would still come back home, back in each others arms... where they belong.

"Earth to Jeffrey" his friend Johnny tried to catch his attention. They are both sitting on the carpeted floor of Johnny's apartment. While Ten was lying down at the three-seater sofa behind them, busy with his phone.

"Shut up, Johnathan" He tilted his head back, leaning at the sofa seat, he stared at his friends Johnny and Ten who suddenly asked him out and has been keeping him captive for almost the whole day now.

"I'm literally with you guys since this morning for basketball, why are y'all trying to held me captive until noon?" He asked, really suspiscious because his friends seem a little bit too clingy today. They wouldn't just let him go.

"It's for you dumbass, I know Sichengie hasn't been home for a while and you're wasting away alone in your apartment. Get some sunlight for fuck's sake" Ten rolled his eyes, but the concern in his voice touched his heart.

"Jae, just stop whining and start joining the party, we need one more guy to start this quest" says Johnny without taking his eyes off the screen, he's playing Monster Hunter 3. At the mention of video games, his thoughts once again wander to Sicheng. What could he be doing at this time? Is he also playing a video game with Dejun? Is he thinking of Jaehyun too? Is he comfortable staying at Kun's? He's betting Sicheng is at Kun's apartment since his hometown is in China, he doesn't have anywhere to go except for Kun. And Kun is one of Sicheng's closest friend aside from Ten, so he doesn't really worry that much whenever Sicheng leaves for a breather. He knows Kun, he will take care of Sicheng.

"Go signal's been given", Ten's voice got him out of his reverie. Ten finally letting his phone down.  
"Hmmm?" Jae was confused now because he didn't really follow the conversation.

"You know, you can talk to us about it, we are your friends for a reason." Johnny finally puts down the PS4 controller and stared at Jaehyun.

"I will, but maybe not now. I want to explain to Sicheng first before anyone, I've been a constant jerk to him. I said things that shouldn't be said, things that I would regret, things that would make him leave--"

"You bet" Ten grins but Johnny tapped his knees, subtly calming Ten down.

"Right" Jaehyun quipped. "But knowing Sicheng, he always comes back. No matter how flawed I am, he would just rest and embrace me back again."

"But there's always a limit Jae." Johnny said seriously.

"Again, right." Jaehyun stands, getting ready to go. "I should go no nand wallow in my sadness, alone, in my room. And maybe I'll be a better person tomorrow and pick up Sicheng at Kun's."

On the way home, Jaehyun sent a text to Sicheng "I missed you, love". As a smile tugged his lips.

Walking back to his apartment, his heart rate quickened as he was welcomed by a familiar sight. Bags of plastic filled with trash were laid on a corner, neatly segregated from recyclables to nonbio to bioderadables. He's certain that these bags contain the bottles of liquor he chugged last night, the chips he ate while drinking, and all the stupid takeouts and deliveries he's been living by for the past few days. Jaehyun walked straight to his door with heavy steps, his breathing strained, his heart pounding out of his chest. "No way he's here" his mind quipped, "But only one person has a duplicate of my keys and will tolerate cleaning after my mess.." his mind convinced him. He turned the knob with his shaking hands. Slowly, he entered his apartment, a familiar scent welcomed his nose.

"God, please, he's finally back home right?" He prayed.

His heart was beating so hard he could feel his chest tightening, his hands still shaking and clammy. The familiar scent he missed so bad still lingers in the room, its faint but enough to suffocate his deprived self.

"Chengie?" His voice was small, hopeful. Maybe he read his text and went home on his own. "Love please.."

As soon as he reached his living room, the faint hope he mustered shattered in an instant. Cold stinging pain shot thru his chest as he immediately noticed the "cleanliness" of the room. Aside from the mess he left earlier, he could no longer see traces of the old pictures that used to hang on the wall, even the frames displayed at the coffee table and tv stand were gone. He ignored the peach colored envelop painfully sticking out in contrast with the charcoal black coffee table.

"No.." he says inaudibly "Fuck no" Tears are now forming at the corner of his eyes. The grip he feels on his chest is getting tighter by each second. With wobbly legs he rushed to his bedroom, "their" bedroom, almost tripping at the process.

"Cheng??" He called a little bit louder. "Love, you're still there right???! Chengie!!" His calls are getting louder and louder, in an attempt to ease the clench he's feeling in his chest.  
He was trying to make himself believe that maybe this wasn't really happening. Maybe he'll see Sicheng on their room doing some general cleaning to appease his "anxiety Gods" as Chengie used to describe them.  
But the coldness of his room welcomed him. The sheets he left unkept this morning are now neatly folded, the carpet was obviously vacuumed, inch and every corner was painfully clean. The way it looks, he doesn't even need to check their closet if Sicheng's clothes are still there. No Sicheng, no pictures of them on the wall, no more trace that "Sicheng was here".

All of the energy he has left got drained, leaving him kneeling on his carpeted floor. His whole body is now shaking, can't accept the fact that this is really happening.  
"He's really gone now" he thought. His tears are uncontrolable now, he wanted to scream and release the heavy feeling in his chest but he's choking on air.   
He never knew he could cry as much as this, never knew he could feel hurt as much as this. With deafening sobs he started to hit his chest, kept on hitting it as he gasp for air, silently wishing the pain to stop if he hit it away.

But no, the pain is still there. It made a shelter on his body, most specifically his chest. And no one can take it away.

**Author's Note:**

> yes, this is for you, the person who likes it. i appreaciate you. talk to me, i've got a lot of affection to give uwu
> 
> maybe i'd post the fluff part, the letter, sicheng's pov... the things hidden in my drafts.


End file.
